My Italian Name

I was blog surfing and found this:

Your Italian Name Is...

Ginevra Costa

What's Your Italian Name?

There are a lot more things you can get in this blog. Other things that I tried are:

You Are a Chocolate Chip Cookie

Traditional and conservative, most people find you comforting. You're friendly and easy to get to know. This makes you very popular - without even trying!

What Kind of Cookie Are You?

You Are Rocky Road Ice Cream

Unpredictable and wild, you know how to have fun. You're also a trendsetter who takes risks with new things. You know about the latest and greatest - and may have invented it! You are most compatible with vanilla ice cream.

What Flavor Ice Cream Are You?

Your Kissing Technique Is: Perfect

Your kissing technique is amazing - and you know it. You have the confidence to make the first move. And you always seem to know what kissing style is going to work best. Sometimes you're passionate, sometimes you're a tease. And you're always amazing!

Are You a Good Kisser?

I like the last one. There are so many others; some are really funny and some are really boring. You can pick and choose and see what kind of person you are.
http://www.blogthings.blogspot.com

Just a typical slow day

Nothing much happens yesterday. Early in the morning chatting on Y!M with my friend in UK. Then just laze around the house with Nadiah. Did some beadwork on a dress I'm working on. That's just a little more to go and I'm finished. In the evening went out to Star Parade and bought some movies to watch. I got:

• Yours, Mine & Ours
• Keeping Mum
• Take The Lead
• Lucky Number Slevin

Have watched Yours, Mine & Ours. Nice relaxing movie with Dennis Quaid and Renee Russo. Have always liked Dennis Quaid especially in Fequency, Flight of The Phoenix and The Parent Trap.

Saw Keeping Mum halfway and fell asleep. Slow movie with Rowan Atkinson. Don't know if I'll be finishing this.

Am looking forward to watch Take The Lead. It starred Antonio Banderas (yummylicious!!!) *dreamy sigh*.

Lucky Number Slevin is mostly for Shukri. It's a guy movie with lots of shooting, swearing and Lucy Liu.

Wedding of the Year... or Is It?

Ok what else to write after the first event of the "Wedding of The Year" yesterday if not that. Congratulations to Siti Nurhaliza (CT) and Datuk Khalid (DK) and hope that your happiness will go on for years to come.

Personally, I wasn't very keen on the wedding. Together with many Malaysians I felt angry on behalf of DK's ex-wife and dissapointed in CT's choice of husband. I was laughing with others when there was a hilarious and slandering song made on their behalf, or a vicious joke told of them or pictures of DK's children (in this case only 1 child) showing the low morality amongst teenagers and smirking at CT's statement of how she fell for DK's love for his children (or something like that la).

But then I thought back, CT must have thought about this through and through. I mean, I've always thought her as a bright young lady. She must know that her decicion would effect her popularity and her personal life. But most importantly it does not effect ME personally. I don't have anything to lose. She can mary the king for all I care, that's her decision. So I stopped sladering her and reserved my judgements.

Comments on her engagement and akad nikah yesterday? Well, I think it was a simple occasion. Yes, there were hundreds of reporters and VIPs but that was only expected. After all CT is Malaysia's No.1 singer and DK is a succesful businessman and a "Datuk" to boot. Fine, some of you may say they (the reporters) are making this a big hoopla; more than what a prince or princess usually gets. But how many "anak raja" do you know is an idol to the community? Ok maybe Raja Nazrin is, but he's taking his own sweet time to get to the altar that everybody is half giving up on him! What I meant by simple was that there wasn't anything overboard like the Sultan of Brunei's son's wedding; everything was gold they almost blinded the guests (hehe, just kidding!!).

OK, CT's dress was really nice. Hats off to Radzuan Raziwill for his beautifully gorgeous creation. One thing I don't particularly care for was the tiara on top of a tudung clad woman. It just doesn't go. Wrong style I think. But I have to say that at first, when they brought in the hantaran, I was quite dissapointed. The colour was so bland. The tray, the cloth lining the tray and the hantaran themselves are the same colour and they sort of merge so you can barely distinguish what they were. But when I saw what the hantaran contains in the papers today.... WOW! No wonder the hantaran didn't need further embelishments. The presents were really something. Names like Chopard, Louis Vuitton, Roger Dubuis and Bvlgari were something alright! They are classy names. That's what I thought the wedding was like... simple but real classy.

I didn't expect the mas kahwin and wang hantaran to be RM52,222 only. I had expected it to be in the hundreds of thousands. I remembered another artiste, Ifa Raziah, stated that whoever wants to mary her must bring with him wang hantaran of RM100,000. And she wasn't in the A-list!! She finally got married but I don't know how much the wang hantaran was.. don't really care anyway.

So let's hope CT and DK's wedding is what they hope it would be like. If CT's popularity should drop after this, then she has no one to blame but herself. Well there are still all those receptions going on next week and the week after. I hope these won't be overboard and spoiling the start of a classy wedding.

But while all of this is going on, my heart goes out to a little 8 year old boy in Melbourne, whose probably confused and angry, wondering why his parents are not together anymore and why his family is becoming the talk of town.

Correct Translation, Please!!

I thought I was done for the day with today's entry. But I saw something on TV tonight that I simply have to write about.

I was watching Parkinson tonight on channel 70. He had a guest, Bradley Walsh, a British comedian. This guy was telling a story when he met the Queen (the English Queen, not our Queen). Anyway, one of the lines he said was "she turned to me as if saying "Is he taking the piss?". And our translator wrote.. " Nak buang air?" (Do you want to pee?). I couldn't believe my eyes. What the comedian said was a British slang for "Is he making fun?", NOT Is he taking a pee!! Really! We should try to get better translators.

Some years back I read in a newspaper and this guy was complaining about the same thing. He had watched the Oprah show where she was interviewing Jim Carrey (why is it always a comedian??). Mr Carrey was saying something and ended his statement with the word "period". Can you guess what the translation was? Yeap, you guessed it: menstruasi (menstruation). At first the he thought it was a typo mistake. Then when Mr Carrey again said the word "period", again the translation was "menstruasi". What does this show? It shows that the translator, whoever he/she was, did not do their research. Didn't he/she feels weird? Wasn't he/she listening to what Jim Carrey was saying and why would he mention menstruation which has nothing to do with the topic he was talking about?

Ok, so that was only a few mistakes. I've seen worst in a movie at the theatres. The whole damn translation was rubbish. I had to seat through the whole of Harry Potter movie #3 and read all the stupid translation that did not make sense at all; especially the names of characters or places. Not that I don't understand what they were saying, but sometimes when you watch a movie/tv show, your eyes kind of automatically follow the translation at the bottom. Luckily I've read the book or I wouldn't have understood the story. I told Shukri not to read any of the translations because he would never understand the story.

Now, I don't know how these translations get put into the shows. They must have done it beforehand right? It can't be during the air time. That means these translators have time to do their job properly. Well, maybe they don't have enough people so they're pressed for time. Whatever, I don't know. But please, PLEASE get better ones!!

Does anyone know how one can be a translator? I'm not saying that my English is perfect, I'm just saying that I think I can do a hell of a lot better than "menstruasi"!!

What's In The Bag?

What's in my bag as of this very moment?

• purse
• handphone
  
• coin pouch
• chinese fan
• 2 packets of tissue
  
• a packet of wet tissue
• name card case
• small tube of EUBOS hand cream
  
• lipstick
• lipgloss
• Body Shop cocoa butter lip care stick
  
• paper cutter (have no idea how this got in there!)
  
• 2 black ink ball point pens
• hair scrunchie
• Eye Glo eye drop
• tiny bottle of minyak cap kapak
• note book
• Hi5 Action Heroes VCD (obviously Nadiah's)
  
• United Overseas bank birthday gift voucher from Ogawa
• a name card from an MBf guy (he was trying to get me to sign up for a credit card and get a stupid calculator I don't need!)
  

That's it... wait a minute! There's a zippered compartment

• facial blotter paper pack
• comb
• mirror
• paper soap
• couple of band aids
• measuring tape
  

Ok that is really it!! Phew! That's quite a lot of stuff in there. I don't think any of them are junks. Well, maybe the MBf card is junk. I don't want that so can chuck that in the bin later. Also the paper cutter can go too. All the others are a must.

So, what's in YOUR bag???

Love After Marriage.... Is It still There?

I was reading a blog entry by a friend the other day. She was talking about love after marriage; whether it's still there or not. That kept me thinking all day and I decided to write about it.

Well for me, I think the love that you felt when you were dating your husband (or vice versa) doesn't end. But it's a different kind of love. The love that you feel evolves from the "can't-get-enough-of-you-and-want-to-spend-all-our-time-together-and-the-hell-with-other-people" kind of love to the "your're-my-husband-and-the-father-of-my-child(ren)" kind of love. Marriage cames with responsibilities; loads of them. But the most important one is to keep the marriage going. Work on it. Commit. Isn't that what a marriage is? Isn't that what you vow to each other when you get married? It's not easy to just get married and get a divorce a few years later (although Britney Spears did it just for the fun of it; and only after 55 hours!!!). I'm sure nobody comes to a decision to severe marital ties on a whim.

It's true that you may not have the time to eat out or go out for a movie just the two of you. But I think a marriage is just like any stage of a relationship. They all need your work and commitment to last. Don't tell me you don't have to work hard while dating. You work hard to impress your love by not saying the wrong words, by being thoughtful of each other, by always thinking of each other when you're apart. If that isn't working hard people, I don't know what is. Compromise, give and take, helping out.. they're all the same thing. Like the saying goes: It takes two to tango and that is so true. Nothing works on itself. But sadly not everybody does that. But if after all you've tried and a divorce is still unavoidable, well then maybe it was never meant to be after all.

In my case, my husband and I got married 15 months after we met. We went steady for a month, engaged for 5 and got married. Maybe that wasn't enough time to really get to know one another, but hey, we took a chance. The first couple of years were blissful. After we had a child and I gave up work, it was different. Only to be expected I guess as we have more responsibilities; not just towards each other but also to our child. I choose to stay home and he goes out to work. At times I do feel neglected or not appreciated. He gets to meet people and go out for drinks while I'm stuck at home, scrubbing the toilet (which he has promised to do on many occasions and have yet to do so) and clearing up after Nadiah etc, etc. But those are just my depressed-mood talking. It is not always like that. He is helpful and he would drop everything off to accommodate special days like birthdays or anniversaries; and important days like Nadiah's doctor's appointments. He took one look at my wish list and got one out of the list without me expecting it. So I remember all those. Whenever these crazy moods comes over, I remember all the little things that he's done. Not very many maybe, but at least he's trying and that's all I'm asking right now. To try. To give some to this marriage.

So is the love we have for each other still the same as before? Of course not. It has evolved. My love for him has changed. It was a love of a single woman for a single man before. Now it's a love of a woman: married, a wife, a mother, sometimes overly stressed woman for a man: married man, a husband, a father, a sometimes lazy fellow, but a love nevertheless. Most days it's not the mushy-mushy kind of love, but if we work hard, it can be on some days. But it's still there. The love is there and it won't be just a phase.

Just my two cent's worth of opinion.

Friday activities

When out to Star Parade this morning. They are having a PC Fair down in the lobby area so there were already a lot of people even at 11 o'clock in the morning. As soon as we got there, we went our separate ways; Shukri to browse around the PC Fair and me and Nadiah to the electricals section. I needed to but Nadiah a cassette player so she can listen to her kiddie songs (no CDs for her; she would surely get them all scratched!!). All this while she has been "borrowing" Mak Tok (my mom)'s player. So I thought it's time to get her own.

Met up with Shukri and found out that he had bought me a FM Transmitter for my iPod. It's a device where you can plug into any music player and find the frequency on the radio so that everyone can listen to your songs. Been telling myself to get that for ages and has somehow manage not to. Yesterday Shukri saw my wish list on this blog and he must have remembered to buy one for me. Sort of a belated birthday present from him. He..he!! Should let him look more often at my wish list. Maybe he will get me those others on the list as well.. *wink*. I bought another one of the transmitter for my mom so she can also listen to her iPod in the car. But of course, her's is not full of songs like mine is. It's full of Quran verses by her favourite Imam in Mecca.... :D. Now whenever we go on a long distance car ride, the driver (read Shukri) won't pull a long face because the co-driver (read me) is so engrossed in her singing to music only she can hear. Now he's hinting that he's got so many Japanese CDs and would be able to listen to them again (I'm guessing he wants me to download them all for him!!).

Had lunch at McD and came come and "pretend" to have lunch at home. We forgot to tell people at home that we would be eating out and my mom is very particular about that sort of thing. At home, if we are eating out, we must always inform. It's only fair I guess. After all there are 8 individuals in this house and the person who has to cook would have quite a quantity to cook. And if 2, or in this case, 4 (my uncle, G, also went out with us) people decided not to eat in, imagine the food that would be wasted. It's alright if it was unavoidable but we did know that we'll be having lunch outside and still did not inform home. So the least we could do was to sit at the table and nibble here and there.

Around 3pm Shukri had to go out and sign some documents at MAA, so we decided to follow; or rather Nadiah decided to follow and I have to tag along as well. That took only a few minutes to settle so we decided to go and eat rojak buah at Taman Rimba. Nadiah decided to play on the swings and slides so we walked about after her. Actually I hate going to Taman Rimba because it's so dirty. Although the rojak is delicious, the park itself is full of dried leaves and broken playsets that nobody felt the need to clean up or repair. Most of the swing sets are empty or broken. And worst of all is the litter. I don't understand some people. They have this habbit of throwing rubbish everywhere except the bin, which I might add are everywhere in the park. All those soiled tissues and squashed and rotten fruit in transparent plastic bags... yuck!! Plus there were soooo many ants: big ones, small ones, red and black. Eeeuiiii!!! I hate bugs especially cockroaches!! I'm not a nature-out-in-the-wild kind of person (though I was in the Girl Guides in school!). I get really squimish at times and absolutely freak out if I feel bugs roaming around on my skin. Thank God when we decide to go after about 15 minutes Nadiah was agreeable.

Back home Nadiah had a dip in her little pool in the bathroom. That was fun: water splashing everywhere and poor Baba has to clean them up (it was his idea so he has to do the job..*grin*). The rest of the day we just lepak and watch TV a little and by 8.30pm Nadiah is out like a light. I must say this is very early for her so I reckon she will be up again around 11pm and God knows what time she will be off to bed again. In the mean time, I'm taking this chance to update and browse. Have a nice weekend everyone!!

"She could be autistic.." Part 2

Warning: Another looooonnggg entry!!

Ok, picking up from where I left off in my previous post, "SCBA..", Shukri and I were totally speechless in Dr.R's office. He suggested a few hospitals where we can take Nadiah to see a child psychologist and offered to write an introduction letter. We just said we'll think about it and will came back later on. I didn't even think to ask him any details but just walk out in a dazed. Back home I stationed myself in front of the computer and started my research. This is what I found:

Autism is a developmental disorder that typically develops during the first three years of life. Autistic children do not reach on time the developmental milestones of a normal healthy baby like crawling, walking, saying the first word etc. Autistic children are not slow learners or of a lesser IQ or suffer from mental retardations. In fact these are very special children who have difficulty in communication and social interaction. They ofter come across as those who remain engrossed with restricted and repetitive behaviour patterns.

Early signs to identify autism in a child are:

• Children do not babble or baby talk
• Children do not point out things by end of 1st year
• Children do not utter a word by middle of 2nd year
• Children are not able to speak two-word sentences by end of 2nd year
• Children do not respond to their own names
• Children do not absord the social skills and thus stay away from people
• Children also make poor eye contact
• Children who are not interested in their toys
• Children do not laugh or smile and may seem to be hard of hearing as well

If you've read the first post, you'll see that half of these symptoms identify with Nadiah. You know how people always say that when you receive some bad news, you usually go through three phases: denial, anger and acceptance. When I heard that Nadiah could be autistic, at first I tried to deny it. In the car on the way home, I thought " How could this be? She cannot be autistic. She just can't" . But after I read the symptoms, I just accepted. I was glad. Glad because finally I have the answers to why she doesn't seem to love me or why she doesn't seem to know her own name. I was glad because now I can do something about it.. the right way.

The next day we went back to Dr.R just to see what our options were. He told us to have Nadiah tested. She could be autistic; doesn't mean that she is. If she is found to be autistic, then the earliest intervention possible is the best. So we picked up a letter from him and went home to do more research.

The psychologists Dr.R suggested were in Loh Guan Lye Hospital (LGLH) in Penang. One needed a six month advance time to make an appointment, so we scratched that one out. The other, we need to go and make a personal appointment and pay RM100 just to make the appointment. Since Nadiah wasn't feeling well at that time, we decided to wait.

In the mean time, Shukri and I were still doing our regular research about autism. We found this website. It's a Chinese acupuncture master in KL who claimed to have been successful with autistic children from all over the world. At first I wasn't very keen to try, but decided to call up the clinic anyway just to find out more about it.

Surprise, surprise.. the voice that answered was a Malay woman. So I asked her whether it is ok for us Malays to go because in the website, it said that the child would also have to take some Chinese herbal powder as well as the acupuncture treatment. The woman said that it is fine, no problems there and that many Malays has been going there. There were also some Arabs, Indonesians and patients from other parts of the world. After deliberating for a few days, we decided to go for it.

The clinic is located on the 4th Floor of Menara Promet in Jalan Sultan Ismail. As soon as we stepped out of the elevator on the 4th floor, we could smell the pungent fumes of Chinese medicines. Boy were they strong!! The floor is the Medical Floor so there were a lot of clinics but situated in an office-style kinda lots. Tole clinic is at the end of the corridor. Along the corridor, we met a lot of kids with "antennas" sticking out of their heads. This must be the right place, we thought. Lots of parents and children we milling about, running here and there and a few doctor-like looking people rushing around. We registered Nadiah and waited for a while. We started talking to other parents and found out some were new and some have been going there for a few weeks already. There were Joshua (12) form Boston, Ryan (4) from Indonesia, Brian (11) from KL, Nabeel (8) from Qatar and some others also from KL, I think, whom we did not get to know. We went in to talk with the "Master". His name is Leong and everyone calls him Master Leong, or just plain Master (sounds kinda like a Chinese Kung-Fu movie). To cut a long story short, after we answered his questions, he concluded that Nadiah is autistic and recommended that she should start treatment immediately, i.e. right there and then!! While this was going on, Nadiah was getting upset with something and was trying to get off her stroller. When Master got close to her to "plant" in the needles, she started to struggle. It was such a horrid time. Every time a needle went in her head, her hand would fly about and knock it out. We had to hold her down so that Master can put in 4 needles. I have to admit that they were tiny ones but I worried that it was hurting Nadiah. Master assured us that there's no pain. It's just that she was scared of a new place and someone unknown to her. The first time is always like this, he said, and that it will be fine after 2 or 3 sessions. Nadiah was still crying and screaming and it took us half and hour to finally calm her down and at last fell asleep. We took her to a quiet corner along the corridor and let her nap for a while. After an hour, it's time to take the needles out and it started all over again. Master asked us to wait 45 minutes and go for a 2nd session. We decided not to and said will come again the next day. We were having second thoughts. Nadiah looked really tired in the car and we were tired as well. I don't think I'll be able to let her go through it all again, not to mention myself. At the apartment Shukri and I discussed whether to go on with the treatment. After much deliberation we decided to try for a week and see how Nadiah would take to the treatment. Oh did I mention that during the treatment she is also to go on a very strict diet? No sweets what so ever. If the food product is sugar-free but the taste is still sweet, then it's a no-no!! No dairy products (means no milk for her), no junk food (that's ok) and only four kinds of fruits (apples, guava, orange and pear), and even those are not the ones which are too sweet. On top of that, there's the powdered medicine she has to take; 3 tea spoonfuls, three times a day, mix in with water to drink. I can't even stomach the thing and I don't have to try it on Nadiah to know she will definitely not like it.

So off we went on the second day, equipped with Baba's laptop so we can distract Nadiah with Barney or Elmo, and some other toys for her to play with. My heart was pounding , ready to go through yesterday's episode all over again, as we approach Master. Did she struggle? Yes.. for about 5 seconds! Then she was fine , not even bothering those antennas on her head. Hmmm.. that's funny. Why wasn't she screaming at everybody? But never question your good fortune. Shukri quickly took out the laptop and started Barney for Nadiah. This is out on the corridor, you see. And before long, other kids were starting to pull up a chair behind Nadiah to watch the show. It's like a mini cinema. We went for two 1-hour sessions with a 45 minutes break in between. Time to go home, and Nadiah was still fine and dandy. No problems, no sirree!!

That started our daily routine for a month. We'll be at the clinic around 2pm and be done by around 5pm. On the way home, we either stop over at a playground or a shopping spot, and it's back to the apartment. After a day or two, we moved from the corridor to the another room the clinic provided where all the children and parents are able to camp-out and relax. We always brought a laptop to provide entertainment for the kids. Shukri and I became the favourite Aunt and Uncle for the kids. Most of the kids are brought over by their maid or tutor or grandparents, so that left Shukri and myself, the hip and cool aunt and uncle, to keep the kids entertained. There were some old, broken up toys at the clinic which really should be thrown away, and also 2 tricycles where the kids can ride along the corridor. Imagine this: little hyperactive kids running around with antennas sticking out of their heads or riding tricycles but not a word left their mouths. Some older kids sit at the table to do coloring or writing or jigsaw puzzles but the little ones are left to run around.

During our month at Tole clinic, the patients keep changing; some went back to their respective homes and countries and new ones join in the group. There was an 11 year old Indian boy form Sabah, Sanjeev was his name, joined us after about a week we were there. He was severely autistic. But his mother, a medical doctor, did a lot of work with him and has taken him to so many treatments all over the world and now he is almost like a normal boy. He reads and writes perfectly fine, goes to a normal school and is basically independent. The only problem was he would not talk. He can talk but only after you tell him to. He understands us pretty well and would answer us when his auntie prompt him to do so. We got to know him pretty well as was his aunty. Other kids who joined us later on were Aizat (4) from Shah Alam and Amir (6) from KL. Also there were two very hyper and very naughty Chinese brothers, Chai Ching (6) and Chai Yong (5) from Nilai. Thank God they only come in once a week or they would drive all the parents crazy.





Here's a picture of Nadiah with her antennas. The one on top is of her and Sanjeev playing bubbles; provided by the cool Aunty Yatie and Uncle Shukri.

After about a week of acupuncture treatment, we started to see a difference in Nadiah. She was more vocal than usual. All of the songs that she's been listening to all these times started to come out. I guess she has been storing them all in her head but has never voiced them out. Her learning ability is so much better; meaning she easily absorbed new words and actions like a sponge and was voicing them too. She was also taking the time to stop and look; to see at things that are going on around her. Not just look, but was also copying the actions of other kids. Most importantly, she has become very manja; loves to hug and cuddle now and would wrap her arms around me when she wants to go to sleep. Heaven!!

After conferring with Master Leong, he suggested we commit Nadiah to a 3-4 months treatment. It was easy for him to suggest but that would mean for us to stay in KL for a further 3 months. Even for us to stay a month meant that Shukri had to take an unpaid leave of absence from work. A further 3 months treatment also means 3 months unpaid leave. A day of treatment cost us RM138. We are talking roughly RM5,000 a month including food and petrol. No work, no money!! As at the end of our 1 month treatment fasting month was drawing close, we told Master that we would have to go back for a while and come back after Raya. But really, we didn't have any intention of coming back. We thought to try the "traditional" method which is going to see a psychologist. We did not come to this conclusion lightly though. After a month, we noticed that Nadiah's condition is not as bad as the other kids. For one, she is very young and the earlier we treat her, the better her chances are. Also, she can actually talk, albeit slow, babyish and seldom, but the point is she CAN talk. She's also able to think for herself. Example: if she wants to get something she can't reach, all she needs to do is pull up a chair and climb up. Easy enough!! We have never shown her how to do it. It was by sheer observation on her part. That means for something I should say!!

Another reason is, although she was improving in some areas, her tantrums were getting even more intense. She has started to bite and even getting more aggressive than before. Not that she was having them that many anymore but when it happens, it was an ordeal for all of us. So bye-bye to acupuncture.

After raya, we made an appointment to see a clinical psychologist in LGLH in Penang, one Mr Alex. At the first appointment, I was to go in and have a talk with the doctor, explaining Nadiah's behaviour and our worries then bring in Nadiah to meet him. As soon as Nadiah stepped in Uncle Alex's (as she was asked to call him) room, she was amazed. Why? Because Uncle Alex (UA)'s room was like a mini Toy's r Us. Seriously!! It was full of toys. Along one wall is a cabinet, a LOCKED cabinet with these clear, hard plastic sliding door (perspecs I think they are called). Inside, UA had arranged toy animals, teddy bears, a doll house with all it's furniture, doctor & nurse playacting stuff and loads more. Nadiah just couldn't decide; to get those in the cabinet or to get those on top of the cabinet or others that were on the other side of the room. There was even a little sand box for her to play in. We couldn't get her to stay still. UA taught us a couple of exercises we would have to work with Nadiah; one being to sit her in front of us with our legs and arms around her making her unable to move. It looked very uncomfortable for her as she would be struggling to get out. But this would teach her to accept our touch and comfort her her when she's feeling insecure. When UA was trying this on Nadiah, she got so aggressive and was kicking and scratching UA. I felf so helpless. It was bad enough when she does that to us, but this was someone who has never seen what she could be like. But UA was the gentlest as could be. He tried talking to her and soothing her and plainly ignoring the red welts I could see appearing on his arms and neck due to Nadiah scratching him. He was the BEST!! I guess he is used to these behaviour. After all it is his job. One thing UA taught us is not to give in to Nadiah's wants and needs. When we give orders, we are to stick to it, not to give up half way.

UA's conclusion? Nadiah is only mildly autistic especially in her social behavior. She doesn't have any repetitive behaviour patterns or any sensory issues (where a child may have very poor or too strong sensitivity of her senses: taste, hearing, touch, sight and sound; either any or all five of the senses). We will be working towards having her entering a normal school and to be independent.

The first exercise I managed to teach Nadiah is to clean up her toys after playing. Boy, what a success!! And she has been sticking to it until now. She may not remember to do it on he own, but when I remind her to, she will quickly do it.

It's been 8 months now since we've been seeing UA and Nadiah has come such a long way. She very seldom has her tantrums anymore and even then it's not so aggressive. There is so much better understanding between us and she's taking orders well. She has also started to play with other people, not just Shukri and myself, but also with her cousins and grandparents. There's also imagination in her play time, although once in a while she still lines up her toys, but at least she plays with them as they were meant to be played.

Though there is still no back and forth conversation between us, her vocabulary has increased and we generally know what she's trying to say. But one thing is still unchanged... she is still a happy, happy girl!!

We have great confidence in her and she is making so much progress and hope one day she would be able to express herself with words and we would be having long conversations as a mother and daughter should.

Sorry this has been such a long one. But I thought I might as well wrap everything up in this entry or you'll be getting "She could be autistic..." Part 3. Anyway, thank you for reading/listening to my stories. I'm just trying to give a little insight of what my little girl is like and to make people understand her better. Thank you and have a nice day.

Merdeka Song.... Not!!

Got this in my SMS today:

Sila nyanyi ikut rentak lagu MERDEKA:
Tanggal 2 puluh 1,
Bln 8, 2 ribu 6,
Brkuda! Di kota!
Anak dara & duda,
Ia psti mjdi sjrh.
Tanggal 2 puluh 1,
Bln 8, 2 ribu 6,
Ari yg mulia,
Ari bhgia,
Smbt dgn khalid mohd jiwa..
Mari kita slruh wrga ngra,
Rmai2 tgk ct kwin duda,
Kawin DUDA!
2 1 bln 8,
2 ribu 6,
lps ini ct jadi janda..

Really! The length that some people would go to. While I may not be too keen on this "Wedding of The Year" event, I think the final line of the song is simply mean. Don't you think so? Wouldn't it make you a malicious person if you "pray" for something bad to befall another person? I mean, it is not our job to decide who gets what in life....

On a different note, I have at last succeeded in persuading Nadiah to start going back to Star Parade. For those of you who are not familiar with Alor Star, Star Parade is the shopping spot in AS. Prior to 2 months ago, Star Parade was like a second home to us. It's Nadiah's favourite plac. Or rather, McDonald's in Star Parade is Nadiah's favourite place. One fine day 2 months ago, she fell asleep in McD (while having an ice-cream, mind you!!). As it was already maghrib time, we decided to just pick her up and carry her to the car. But she woke up with a start and I guess was disoriented and started to cry; refusing to budge from her seat, and generally speaking, making a big-fat-wonderful scene for everybody. Due to that unfortunate, traumatic event, she has refused to step foot in Star Parade, or any otehr shopping center. Funnily enough, this does not include 1-Utama or Mid-Valley (when we were in KL), i.e. wherever there'a a Toy r Us!! I couldn't do my grocery shopping anymore. Not with her anyway. I had to go alone whenever Shukri is at home. But it had to be a short visit. That wasn't enough!! I needed more shopping time!!

So today was a victory day for us all. We persuaded (read forced)her out of the car. Once she saw that there was nothing wrong with the place, she was having a great time. And Mama got her shopping spot back. Yes!!

Cellophane Tape

Nadiah isn't feeling well today. Her temperature is high and she's coughing and wheezing, that we had to use the nebulizer on her so she can breathe better. She had a really restless night and while I was looking after her, I remembered something funny she did yesterday. I caught her doing this:

She was trying to close the slit on her sleeves, which was supposed to be the fashion. She got out my cellophane tape from the supply box and applied it herself. Actually she did it to her trousers as well, which also have slits at the end. Cellophane tape is her "fix-it" solver to her broken toys; from broken cups to torn books to snapped crayons. All you need is some cellophane tape and it's as good as new!!

"She could be autistic.."

*Warning : This is a loooonnggg entry*

Some time in July of 2005, those 4 words brought my world crashing to the ground. That's what Nadiah's pediatrician said to me when we went for a check up... "She could be autistic".

Nadiah was born on the 26th of April 2002 at 4.20pm on a Friday, two months earlier than expected, at Kedah Medical Centre (KMC). Some of you knows of the near-death experience I went through in order to bring her into this world (and I would go through it again, for she is such a happy child). Due to her premature state, she was put in the incubator for 2 weeks and under observation for another 2 weeks at the Alor Star General Hospital (ASGH).

The first few months of her life we were very careful with her especially when giving her a bath. She was skin and bones that it was difficult to hold her in the tub. My mom made a special tiny pillow so we can rest her on it when giving her a bath. Even so, she was an active child; kicking and flapping away when we put her down.

Before long she was gaining weight and developing well, albeit later a month or two than a normal child's development schedule but that was only expected because she was premature. By the time she was a year, she was walking and responding like normal but not really talking. She would make noises and gurgling but no words. Soon after, she would say Baba a couple of times which made my husband so happy. About this time we stated buying Barney CDs for her to watch and she loved it. She would sit and watch for hours on end and would rock and clap to the songs. Even at a young age she knows the melody of the songs when she "sings" the songs. I may not know what exactly she was saying but I could identify which song from the melody. Soon after that she could say the words although they were babyish. But no matter, that was progress. But one thing I noticed is that she doesn't turn around when you call her name. No matter how many times or how loud you call out to her, there was no response. She was also not into the "peek-a-boo" game that normally would get any babies rolling on the floor laughing. Whatever game you try to play with her, she will not respond. At first we thought she had hearing problems. But how could that be? She can sing and dance to music. Sometimes when she was playing away from the TV room and suddenly the Barney song starts palying on the telly, she would immediately run and stand in front of the TV. That shows that she could hear well enough. She was also not talking to people. Not to me, not to Shukri and most definitely not to the other family members that she seldom see. Whenever she wants something, she would pull and push me, and take my hand to reach for something.. a toy, a drink or whatever. Notice that she does not point out herself. Neither did she look at something that you're pointing at. We were stumped!! Why was she behaving like this? Everybody kept saying that she's probably a late bloomer due to her being premature. Or that the problem was she watched a lot of Barney which is in English whilst everybody talks in Malay at home. So that was what's making her confused. Funny thing was, I didn't even think of doing any research on my own about why my daughter was behaving like this. This is ME! Who would Google every single thing that I see in the movies or read in a book that I wanted to know more about. All I did was read about parenting and how to deal with difficult behaviour in children. I found the solution, but I did not look for the problem.

By the time she was three, she could say a lot of words. But only a few would relate to the situation around her. For example when she wants her milk she would come and to me and say "susu" (milk). Or she would say lion, cat, elephant or banana when she saw the pictures. Most other words are just repetition from whatever she heard on TV. Words may come out of her mouth but you have no idea why she's saying them. We had trouble understanding her and she seemed unable to understand us at all.

Another thing that was a problem was certain sounds seemed to agitate her. It doesn't have to be loud. She's fine when the thunder is crashing away in the sky, but would start to close her ears with her hands when there was a swishing sound like air passing through a tight space or the sound that some elevators make when it's going up fast. She would scream and cry and start to kick and scratch us. She becomes really strong when these episodes happens that her Baba couldn't pick her up, let alone me. Doesn't matter where she is: at the supermarket, at home, at a friend's house, at McDonald's.. you name it, we've been through it. Sometimes we don't even know why she's crying and kicking and screaming. She couldn't talk and we don't seem to be doing what she wants us to; and that frustrates her. I understood that she was frustrated but I didn't know how to calm her down. These meltdowns she would have regularly. Sometimes up 2 to 3 times a day.

Nadiah didn't know how to play with her toys either. She loves getting toys especially blocks or anything that was colourful. She especially loves crayons, coloured pencils or painting. But all she did was line them all up.. perfectly. I used to think to myself, "wow.. my daughter is so artistic she can line up her coloured pencils from the shortest to the tallest".
Little did I know that that was a sign.

Off all of her "problem areas", what most crushed my heart was that she disliked being cuddled. When she was old enough to sleep in her own bed, we bought her a single bed and placed it next to ours. Whenever I lay down beside her on her bed she would push and kick me away. I wondered sometimes, does she not love me? It breaks my heart to see my brother, who has a son a year older than Nadiah, play and interact with his son. Even Shukri would wrestle around with him. We are close to this cousin, Amir, because my brother sends him around our house 3 times a week for my mom to babysit (BTW we live with my parents, an uncle, and 2 more ladies in this house.. so there's always people around). I know every child is different in their behaviour and development, but I can't help comparing Nadiah to Amir. Amir is such a chatterbox and a cheeky boy, who would follow us around as if we were his parents, while Nadiah is so indifferent to all these.

Don't get me wrong, despite these problem areas, Nadiah is a happy child who would sing and dance and jump up and down. It's just that her social communication was lacking.

So one day when she wasn't feeling well, we took her to her usual pediatrician, Dr.R. He had been treating her since she was born so knows about her slow development. But before this particular visit, it had been almost a year since we saw him because Nadiah had not been ill. When he asked about Nadiah's development, we told him that apart from some few words there was not much progress. Remember, she's 3 by then; the age where most children would have been able to form 3 to 4-word sentences. So Dr.R suggested if we would consider seeing a speech therapist or a child psychologist. "Why?" we asked him. He said "she could be autistic...."

to be continued... with my reaction and the steps we took.
p/s: my fingers are very tired la from all this typing!!

"Happy Birthday To You"

Yesterday my 4 year old daughter, Nadiah, sang "happy birthday to you" to me because it was my birthday. You may ask what's the big deal as it's natural for a 4 year old kid to do so. But that's just it. It is not natural for Nadiah to do so. You see, Nadiah is mildly autistic. That means that she doesn't talk. Note that I said "mildly". She's autistic when it comes to social behaviour. I'll write more about this later on. Anyway, after all the exercises and therapies that we've done with Nadiah, she is now able to express herself to the point where we can understand her. She has made me the happiest of mothers when she's able to enjoy a birthday, which would be just a normal thing to do for most people. Here's a video of her singing. It may be short but I know I'll be playing this one over and over again for a long time. Enjoy!

Things I Would Do For My Flesh & Blood

I've been up since 5am this morning. Why? Because my daughter, Nadiah, decided to wake up early and bugged me to switch on her favourite kidddie show of the moment -- Hi5. Those of you who are without children, or do have them but are too young for tv watching, you may not know this show. Or other kiddie shows for that matter like Barney or Jojo's Circus. Hi5 is a 5-person, very energetic Aussie group who sing and dance and at the same time teach kids about shapes, numbers, words and all of those stuff that kids are suppose to learn.

Ok back to my daughter. Since my husband had copied all of her many, many CDs into the PC, I have to click here and there for her in order to play the show (this also means that I'm sharing the screen with her at this very moment!!). So there I was in the wee hours of the morning with part of me still asleep (didn't go to bed until 1am the night before so that's only 4 hours sleep!!), clicking away with the mouse to get the right file. Not only do I have to get her Hi5 moving, I had to sit there with her and sing and groove to the songs. This is 5 o'clock in the morning, people! Subuh pun belum lagi!

Due to my daughter's interest in Hi5, Barney, Sesame Street and other kiddie shows, I have memorised practically all of the songs and the dance routines. I am ever ready to sing a song whenever she snaps her fingers. She's like a magician and I'm her gorgeous and sexy assistant (I wish!!). Not that I purposely sit and listen to the songs and try to memorise them by hard as if I'm studying for my A-Levels.. the songs just floats around in my head because I've listened to them one too many times. Unlike my loving husband who struggles to sing a Barney song whenever Nadiah wants him to. She gets upset when you can't sings the songs. So my husband keeps bugging me to write the lyrics. Should I? I think not. It's fun to see him pretending to know the lyrics when in actual fact he's making up the sounds. But best of all is the look on Nadiah's face when you sing for her. It lights up the whole room. You just want to smile right back at her just because she's smiling at you. Barney is right: "A smile is a present you can keep when you give it away". See, they do teach some good stuff on this shows.

First Things's First

When I first decided to write a blog, it was going to be about my new business; my beadwork business. But come to think of it, how much stuff can you write about beadwork? After all, I've already created a website for it. What more can I add to this??? So I've changed my mind. This is going to be just about anything that happens in my life... be it as a mom, a housewife, the books I've read, the places I've been to, my hopes, my aspirations, my daughter, my neighbour's cat (who keeps doing his business in our garden that it stank to high heaven) or it can also be about nothing. I'm going to try and keeping posting on this blog as often as possible. Or at least try to post at least once a month. To tell you the truth, I've created this space a long time ago. But have had 2nd, 3rd and 4th thoughts to whether I could commit to posting every now and then. You see, I know myself very well indeed. So far, I've gone through so many "Dear Diary" moments I can't even remember anymore. It would usually started off by me writing in my diary religiously every day and about every single thing that happened in my life that particular day. This would go on for about 2 weeks. Then I would slowly start to slack and skip a day or two. Very soon it would be a week or two and eventually die out completely. After a few years the cycle would start all over again with the same result. This time I'm determined to make a difference. I'm determined to stay put.